Sometime between today and June 14th, my 79th birthday, I will once again attempt to bike my age. This will mark the 14th year in a row of this challenge, which, so far, I have been able to meet.
But this time things are more exciting and more challenging for these five reasons:
1 & 2: The ride is a mile longer, and I am a year older.
3: I cannot use my familiar (and very flat) route outside New York City because we are now living in Edgartown on Martha’s Vineyard, a hilly and windy island.
4: For the first time, my attempt is authorized by the Association of Birthday Bicycle Athletes (ABBA), which will be monitoring my effort from its international headquarters in Sweden. If I make it, it will be certified and officially recognized. ABBA has some pretty serious rules and regulations, including these four:
A. The cyclist may not get off the bike more than 7 times during the ride;
B. Nap or rest breaks cannot exceed 15 minutes, and no more than two naps are allowed during the competitive effort;
C. No performance-enhancing drugs;
D. No sex during the ride. (This provision is the subject of much debate within ABBA. All of the French and Italian ABBA members, men and women, want the rule revised to prohibit unprotected sex, but not all sex. That debate continues, which means I will be abiding by the current rule.)
Although I went well beyond the required 78 miles last year, 
ABBA’s strict rules do not allow me to count the surplus of 5 miles toward this year’s goal.
5: My effort will be live-streamed on ESPN-27, the sports channel for amateur athletic events. This is a big deal for me, as you might imagine. If you’re not familiar with ESPN-27, it scored a ratings hit when it live-streamed 62-year-old George Hood’s 8:15.15 plank back in late February. At times during that broadcast the audience reached into the high double figures.
I’m wearing a Go-Pro camera for the live-streaming. Commentary will be provided by prominent sportscasters, who will weigh in during the 8-hour broadcast. I’ve invited the eloquent Greg Gumbel, the articulate Jim Nantz, the trail-blazing Robin Roberts, the unflappable Al Michaels, the perceptive Hannah Storm, the quick-witted Tony Kornheiser, the hebetudinous Brent Musburger, the cerebral Erin Andrews, the incomparable Vin Scully, and Herman Mullakang. Only Herm, the backup engineer at Martha’s Vineyard Community Service Television, has accepted the invitation as of this moment.
Three companies purchased spots on my biking attire to advertise their products. My main sponsor is Target, which has bought the rights to my shirt. I will be riding with its logo on my back and over my heart. Other sponsors are Vacurect, which is underwriting the inflation of my tires, and Depends for Men, which is sponsoring my biking pants. The proceeds are, of course, being donated to charity.
Even in the best of times, this venture of mine is akin to Trivial Pursuit. To make it meaningful, I am asking people to contribute 79 cents, $7.90, $79, $790, $7,900, or any other multiple of 79 to non-profit organizations in communities of color affected by the coronavirus and the protests over the murder of George Floyd. As always, pledges are contingent upon my riding 79 miles. If I don’t make it, you don’t have to make the donation.
If you wish to make your commitment public, that’s great. There are two ways: 1) Make your promise in the ‘reply’ section below, or 2) Go to my Facebook page https://www.facebook.com/johnmerrow and make your public commitment there.
Thanks, and stay safe…..
The Merrow Report 
I pledge $790.00, towards John Merrow’s 79 mile bike ride which, knowing John should be a slam dunk!
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I appreciate your confidence, Tom, and I did manage 40 miles today, but I still haven’t found the 20 mile flat stretch I need.
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probably boring, but bike back and forth to Vineyard Haven 4 times, at least you avoid the hills out west.
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Hang in there, John….this too shall pass.
I am celebrating #82 next month, but my Lyme Disease stopped my tennis a few years ago, thank goodness, as I was sinking fast, anyway. I loved riding my bike. Next best thing to flying.
Be careful out there. Lean with your bike against a hickory tree for a short nap whenever needed.
Wrote Browning; “A man’s reach should exceed his grasp or what’s a heaven for.” Countered by Churchill’s “Never, never, never give up.”
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Thanks, Tom. I’m hoping for a windless day. That’s the key…..
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John:
I pledge $79 towards your ride! I know you’ll make it! And I wish I could be on MV to ride with you. Is your daughter riding with you this year? or Mike? Are you on the Vineyard full time full time? or just for covid-19 sheltering? I tried to post this pledge on FaceBook – but I seem not to be your “friend.” how could that be? I will let you know if we make it there this summer or fall (Not sure yet if my September Swarthmore seminar is happening or not). I think I’m inspired to start doing this too… I Missed the 5 boro ride in May but I have already signed up for the MS ride in NYC in October now that my Italy trip has been cancelled… I Will likely miss the tri-athalon I was going to do with my step daughter in Philly in July.
Love to Joan – hope you are both well!
sending love,
marty
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John, I love your annual “bike my age” capers and once again pledge to contribute – this year, $79. I’ll contribute it to the Health Workers Relief Fund at the Community Foundation for Southeast Michigan. Have a SAFE ride, and congratulations for staying in shape to do this. Enjoy Edgartown in the lovely summer months!
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John — I am good for $79 if you are good for 79 miles. Next time, get a horse! TIM
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[…] or the Yale Glee Club. Someone tricked me about ABBA and ESPN-27. I owe you an apology, because what I told you last week about riding with a Target logo on my back, wearing Depends for Men bike pants, and being pumped up […]
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Seventy-nine years and 80 miles! Congratulations and happy birthday. I’m donating $80 .
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Hi John, you can count on our $79. We will contribute to the Equal Justice Initiative. David and Becky
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You will have to check this week’s entry. You’re in for $80, not $79. 🙂
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[…] of you may remember that last year I got tricked into thinking that my ride would be televised on ESPN, under the auspices of a Swedish-based sporting group called ABBA. Eventually I figured out that […]
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